unexplainable loss

for the sake of privacy, im going to refer to our friend as bob in this entry.

friday had started off on a pretty good foot, snoozed a couple times, skipped our run, and kevin smiled and playfully belted out, "happy anniversary!", subtly referencing the fact that i mis-memorized our wedding date. got into the office, finished my cranberry-banana muffin, and strong non-farm payroll numbers came out, and then i got the call.

kevin: "bob's baby girl died ..."
jen: "what? what happened?"
kevin: "they aren't sure, it just happened"
jen: "she was born this summer right? 2-3 months old?"
kevin: "yea, in july. they think maybe it was sids."

in less than a minute, the rest of my day would be shadowed by those words.

thoughts flurry across my mind. eyes well up. i haven't even met bob's family before, but somehow, tragedies like these can touch us all.

what are bob and his wife supposed to do now?
how are they feeling? how would i feel? 
confused, disbelief, sad, hysterical, silent, anger, unfairness, hatred?
how do they mourn? how long do they mourn?
can they move on? are you supposed to move on? is there ever closure?
what about their 3-yr old son?

and then back to us.

what can we do?
is there anything we could do to help?
do they want our help? do they want their privacy?
am i overthinking? i can't begin to imagine how much this family is suffering.

in the end, we decided to send an arrangement and will attend the wake to support them. may she rest peacefully and her family lean on each other and their family and friends through this difficult time. and may the rest of us be reminded of everything we have and how much life can change in a matter of seconds.